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In fact, to cycle from the UK to Hong Kong. I could walk alongside my new mate the black dog and try to integrate this depression into myself. Hotlines in other countries can be found here. My relationship had split up, my career, my home, everything had gone. Then I slipped to a new level and the smallest annoyance became too much to deal with. I needed physical activity. Slight fingers on my cheek.

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Moving to a war zone was better than living with what was in my head

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But to do something about it meant possibly losing everything. I confirmed for myself that I was a lesbian and confessed to my mum. This news saved my life. This was harsh, direct, unsubtle. I managed to avoid it influencing me much up to around 10, when tiny breasts began to bud on my chest and Tim, my big brother, told me to put my T-shirt back on. I put this knowledge away, very, very tidily, for 15 years. All my life, throughout a tough childhood of bullying and a violent home life, I had kept some hope that things would improve.

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A friend to all. I sat in a five-star hotel room in Multan, Pakistan, finally cool after constant50C days of cycling. Very occasionally I saw males transitioning to females, but they were nearly always the target of spite and ridicule. I decided I needed to get out and about. It sat next to my self-contempt, slowly merging together to build a great depression. I did interviews over Skype, with the foreign staff now dispersed around the world after being temporarily evacuated. I clung to the meagre hope that I might get this job.

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